...we don't say anything.

As if we don't exist. If we chose not to say anything, if we chose not to exist, then no one would have to deal with our differences, no one would feel trouble or inconvenienced by our opinions, and everyone else would be happy.

Yes, happy. Everyone else. Everyone else except ourselves. Probably. Or maybe we should just live our whole lives happily knowing that everyone else around us is happy. It seems that things used to be easier back then; why do things seem so much harder now?

Which way is better? Inconveniencing yourself for the sake of others to make them happy? Or inconveniencing others for the sake of making yourself happy? Which way is "the way" to live?
If we inconvenience ourselves, we'll stay on everyone's "good side," but some will say we are selfless, too selfless, even. Some may even encourage us to not be so selfless. But that's because they care for us, truly, and want us to be happy too.
If we inconvenience others, then people will say we are selfish. We'll be on everyone's "bad side," just because we don't know how to cooperate and be open to other ideas. People will talk about us behind our backs, and no one will want to come looking for us to do things, work together, etc. because they'll expect us to always care about ourselves first.


Most people are selfish, I think. There only seem to be a rare handful that can be defined as selfless. That's because being selfless is tiring. There are things you want to do, but you never really get to do them because there's always someone who wants to do something else and you always choose to let them have their way. You "don't care" about most things in order to let others do things their way and be able to express and get their own preferences. People continue to ask for your opinion, and you continue to not care. Being selfless, you will help others whenever they ask you to, even if it means having to stay up an extra hour in order to finish your own tasks. You think about others before you think about yourself. You try to choose your words wisely so that you won't upset anyone by saying the wrong thing. You care more about others than you do yourself, and you take care of others before heading back to take care of yourself. You're the person that everyone seems to depend on because they know that you can depend on you, that you'll always be there for them, that you'll always find a way to reach a hand out to them whenever they need you even if your hands were already full.

However if you are 'selfish,' you'll care about yourself first. You won't think much of helping other people; you just want to get what you want and be done with it. If there's someone else who needs help then well, maybe you'll come back later and help them if you're feeling charitable. You always express your opinions because you want to be heard, because you need to make sure that people know what you want and acknowledge what you think. You don't hesitate to argue for what you want and openly tell people what you want without any intention of backing down. You want people to give in and give up and admit that you are superior to them, that you are right.


So which is better? Which is right? Which way should we choose to live?

The world seemed to be so much better before, without the clash in opinions, without all this unwanted hate. Without these feelings of sadness, without these tears. Without saying words that could potentially hurt people even though we all know that I mean no harm, without losing that barrier of control that reminded me not to say the wrong things. Without these thoughts rushing through my head, without these tears that flow out from my eyes. Without this feeling that not a single person in this world understands me. Without realizing that I don't belong in this world. Without feeling that I really am that different.

The world is perfect when we don't say anything.

//

...we cry.

We cry because we feel pain ourselves.
We cry becaues we feel the pain of others.
We cry because we're sad, lonely, hurt, or misunderstood.
We cry because we no longer feel like we belong in this world.
We cry because we just want to disappear forever.


But why didn't I remember that there are people who cry "tears of joy"? Maybe that's because I've never cried tears of joy. Never.


I've only ever cried due to pain. The pain that I feel, and the pain of others.

So this is why we cry.

Labels: caring, happiness, living life, not caring, perfection, questions, reasons, selfishness, selflessness, the world